Reach For The Sky
by Eirenei
Summary: Snippets of Harry's life with three giant robots. Who said that the life after Voldemort was boring?
1. Chapter 1

_REACH FOR THE SKY_

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_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Transformers or Harry Potter. No way, no how. But I do own this little story.

_**Summary:**_ Snippets of Harry's life with three giant robots. Who said that the life after Voldemort was boring?

_**Warnings:**_ Hinted slash, strange situations and maybe too short of a read._ /cringes/_ Sowwy! Anyway, the pairings are: **Harry/Megatron, Harry/Barricade, Harry/Starscream. **Oh, and there's no definite timeline.**  
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**1) Bachelor**

Much to the surprise of anyone who knew him, one Harry James Potter was still a bachelor; but not for the lack of trying from ladies' side. It was just… he seemed to be married to the racing car that came in his possession roughly two months ago.

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**2) Squishy**

For someone as big as Megatron was, it was understandable to regard the… humans as squishies. However, Megatron decided that one particular squishy intrigued him, and just for the sake of curiosity, he would let that squishy live.

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**3) Fly**

Harry whooped in delight as F-22 raptor made another barrel and then seamlessly slid into the corkscrew. He had the time of his life; unfortunately, the co-pilot didn't share his sentiments, judging by the green tinge of his face.

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**4) Drive**

Hermione disapproved of his… participation in car races, no matter how many times Harry told her it was completely safe. And for some reason, Harry's car hold a grudge against the bushy know-it-all witch. Gee, wonder why?

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**5) Possessed **

The pilots whispered that this particular F-22 was cursed. Until now, it ejected every pilot, except old McLahan, but McLahan was relocated, and they wondered how would a newbie pilot the _'Hellspawn',_ as they 'lovingly' nicknamed the Decepticon.

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**6) Red**

Megatron was never scared more than when he had seen the snake squishy 'kill' his Harry. And then, he saw red.

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**7) Spark**

He may not have a heart, but he had a Spark; and it belonged to one Harry James Potter. Barricade didn't mind – after all, he had gotten Harry's heart instead.

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**8) Name**

To hear his name from the mouth of that particular fleshling was one of the most beautiful sounds in universe.

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**9) Hedwig**

Even if the snowy bird was old, she still hen-pecked the strange suitors of her Master-Harry into order. How in the hell did she do that, it would remain a mystery; but it provided great entertainment for Harry and Weasley twins, and caused eternal bafflement on the mechs' side. But they did gain a healthy dose of respect for the old bird.

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**10) Rival**

The three of them wanted the slender wizard for themselves, and they were willing to fight tooth and nail against each other. However, with appearance of one Ginny Weasley, they called for a truce and agreed that presenting united front was for the best.

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**11) Holoform**

Remus Lupin frowned. His godson's new… friends were strange. One with silver hair and violet eyes that occasionally flashed red, one with unruly copper mop and sky blue eyes, and the last with black hair and black eyes. Oh, they were polite, alright. But what concerned Remus the most, was the metallic under-tinge in their scents. And what scared him, was that they definitely had designs on his innocent godson. But he was fucking _terrified_ of their power. Just _what_ were they?

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**12) Hate**

If there was anything they loathed more than squishies – with some rare exceptions – it was Ron's pet owl, Pigwidgeon. Somehow, Pig was dumb enough to constantly choose their alt forms for his temporary home, and it was driving them bonkers, especially when they were forbidden to do anything to the feathered menace.

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**13) Veela**

Like all women, one Fleur Delacour, soon to be Weasley, had a healthy appreciation of beautiful male forms. And like any sensible Veela, she wanted a beautiful mate. Smiling coyly, she began to radiate her allure as she approached the three males Harry brought to the celebration. Imagine her surprise - no, downtight _shock,_ when they just glanced at her and continued their heated debate.

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**14) Wash**

If Barricade had any weakness, it was a wash. Not any ordinary wash no – he had a weakness for the car wash done by Harry himself.

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**15) First**

Harry nearly had a heart attack when he had seen the metal behemoth with red eyes crouching in front of him. _'But didn't Hermione say that electricity doesn't work in close quarters with magic?_' His subconscious managed to squawk out, before Harry' s attention was grabbed by the speaking mech.

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**16) Hope**

Harry didn't know, but he gave the three mechs hope. For Megatron, it meant he didn't feel as outcast anymore. Slag the Matrix and Allspark; he was just fine without them. For Starscream it meant that he appreciated the sky again, awed at the freedom which it offered; especially when shared with Harry. For barricade it meant acceptance and sharing the joy of adrenaline of races . Harry was still clueless, but that was just fine with them; as long as they had Harry.


	2. Chapter 2

_REACH FOR THE SKY _

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_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Transformers or Harry Potter. No way, no how. But I do own this little story.

_**Summary**__**: **_By popular demand, and my own overimaginative brain, _**Reach For The Sky**_ is back, baby! Anyway, I don't know how or when I will get to writing this – it seems I was gifted with more potbunnies – excuse me, plot _dragons,_ - than I am able to comfortably parade around –but at least you will have something to look forward to. Well, enjoy!

_**Warnings:**_ Hinted slash, strange situations, and our favourite mechs abound. Anyway, the pairings are: **Harry/Megatron, Harry/Barricade, Harry/Starscream**

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_**1) Hellspawn**_

»Hey, do you know who will pilot _Hellspawn _today?« A pilot asked his comrades. They shuddered in unison. »I feel for the poor devil that will be stuck with it,« Another pilot commented, his recognising feature was a deep slash over his right eye It became almost a ritual initiation of some sort, to con the newbies into piloting the F-22 that was – to say it mildly – difficult to the extreme. You had to have a good stomach and even better nerves, what with some stunts the plane pulled on you, just out of the blue. And if there were no newbies… it was a mad scramble for any F-22 that wasn't the _Hellspawn._ So they played – somewhat demented version of music chair – only difference was, that the poor fucker who was the last for any reason, had to go on hair-raising ride with the _Hellspawn _itself.

»Huh, you are in luck,« A mechanic grumbled out. »Seems that they sent some whiz kid with orders to ride the _Hellspawn _and find out what is wrong with the bird.« He hacked a little, his voice still scratchy from the all-nighter he pulled.

The pilots looked at each other. »A newbie, huh?« One asked, grinning nastily. »Should be fun to see.«

His companions agreed enthusiastically. Anyone but them, it was the first rule of survival.

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_**2) Sleepover**_

Harry stared. And stared again. »You seriously don't know what sleepover is?« he asked incredulously. The three mechs shook their heads almost simultaneously. »… And you didn't think to look it up on internet?«

The three of them looked sheepish – if three most bloodthirsty Decepticons could ever look sheepish that is – and then, froze.

»It's a _girl_ _thing?«_ Starscream asked, his voice squeaky with surprise.

Harry sighed. »Yes, it's a girl thing.« He answered patiently. »But that doesn't mean guys can't have sleepovers,« He explained patiently. »It's just…different. We talk about… guy things, our favorite soccer teams, girls and the like.« A light of recognition brightened three pairs of optics. »Ahhh…« Barricade rumbled out. »So can we have a sleepover?« he asked, making a puppy-dog-eyes face.

Harry blinked. »Uh…. I think my house is a little too small for that, no offense,« He offered weakly.

»We'll take care of that,« Megatron interrupted him. »You just have the house ready for the party.«

Harry sighed, defeated. »Right, right,« He agreed. Already wary of the havoc the three of them would undoubtedly make. Besides, how on Earth would three giant robots even stuff themselves in his little cottage, anyway?

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_**3) Overdrive**_

The first time Barricade felt the boy touch him, he felt his systems go in overdrive. The boy wasn't anything impressive – he was smaller than average male of his age, black, unruly hair, scrawny form clothed in too big clothes for some reason, with ugly pair of glasses on his nose.

Normally, Barricade wouldn't let the urchin come to him, or even touch him with his filthy fleshy paws for anything in the world.

But he had no choice. And so, he resigned himself to be pawed and fondled once again, like any of those scraps of metal the squishies called used cars.

_And oh __**Primus,**__ it was __**so**__ worth it…._

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_**4) Penalty**_

Hermione looked around nervously. For some reason, she was collecting penalty tickets lately. She gulped. What would it be this time? She clutched her purse to herself, as she nervously headed to her mother's car.

_'Please don't let there be penalty ticker, please don't let there be a penalty ticker, pl__ – '_

She looked at the windshield nervously. A relieved sigh escaped her, as she saw a clear surface.

She quietly yelped in delight. »Yay! Take that, you - !«

Grinning, she set herself on opening the car… when she saw a shadow behind her.

She gulped.

»Miss Granger?« A cultured voice asked her sternly. »We really have to stop meeting like this...by the way, you parked on the _No Parking _zone, and in addition, you exceeded the speeding limit for the village.«

Strong, elegant fingers drew out a small block while the male spoke, and poised a ballpoint on the paper.

Large brown eyes looked at the stern visage of the handsome policeman. »W – Well, I, uh… It was just for five minutes!« She babbled out.

The policeman paused. Dark eyes looked at her, making her feel exposed and small, as if she were a naughty toddler.

»Still a five minutes too much, Miss Granger,« He told her, his voice firm. »Now, that will be 500 pounds… and don't forget to pay the last one, Miss Granger,« he advised her mildly. »It was due yesterday.«

With a satisfying _rrriip,_ he tore of the list of paper off the block and solemnly held it to her.

Clenching her teeth, he forced herself to nod. »Of course, officer. How kind of you to remember, I really don't know where I misplaced my head,« She smiled a sweet, if a little bit forced smile.

He nodded. »I understand; people are becoming more and more forgetful nowadays.« He turned around. »And please, don't forget to call someone to deal with the wheel-clamping.

»Yes, yes, I will,« Hermione gritted through her teeth, seething silently.

To Barricade, she looked out as an overgrown puffy cat. He suppressed the urge to laugh, as he nodded politely. »See that you do, and I hope we won't meet ourselves so frequently from now on.«

»Yeah, I hope so, too,« Hermione nodded primly.

When he walked away, she watched him with her killer stare. Oh, how she wished that he would just drop dead!«

»That damned bobby,« she muttered to herself, as she attempted to unlock the car.

»Language, young lady.« An all too familiar voice floated to her ears. »And that would be additional 150 pounds for insulting an official person on their duty.«

Hermione groaned. At that rate, her Gringotts vault would be empty before this year would be over!

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_**5) Vehicle**_

Harry stared. »So, you are living, talking, moving alien vehicle from the space… and what does that have to do it with me?« He deadpanned, looking in Megatron's red optics unflinchingly.

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_**6) Pimp**_

»Yo, dude!« Harry was ambushed by the overenthusiastic commentator with a little too sparkly smile. He blinked owlishly. »Me?« he repeated dumbly. The commentator beamed. »Yeah, you! You were chosen for the _Pimp My Ride!_ Aren't you excited?« Harry blinked again. »Run that by me again?« He asked slowly. »I was chosen for…«

The commentator nodded enthusiastically. »Yeah, man! You have such a poor ride – ya know, how on earth it still works I don't know – Does it even works?« He pointed to the scrap of metal in front of Harry's garage disdainfully. »So we will take this trash and change it into a lil' beauty, only for you! Whaddya say about that? Cool huh?«

Harry's brains finally caught up. »Oh…. _OH!_ You are talking about repairing my car!« He exclaimed out.

The commentator sweat dropped. »Yeah…So, you ready for the change of your life?« he grinned a cheesy grin, draping one arm over Harry's shoulders.

»Um, It's really not neccesarry...« Harry tried, fending the man away from him. Or tried to.

»Awe, cutie, don't worry, it will be the sweetest ride evah, I promise ya!« The man still didn't understand.

In this moment, the so-called scrap of metal let out a screech, worthy of Starscream, - which ruined all the cameras, by the way - and hightailed out – er, as much as it could hightail out, being the scrap junk as it was. (It hobbled out, really.)

The looked at the fleeing car blankly.

»Dude, you hurt its' feelings.« A cameraman told the gaping commentator blankly.

Harry looked at the lost man. »And you just lost me a ride.« He told him flatly.

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_**7) Recharge**_

Harry wanted to sleep. _ Wanted _to. _Intended _to. But for some reason, there were some loud whines – loud for him, anyway – heard from the hangar.

»If that continues, we'll have to rename you from _Hellspawn_ to _Crybaby_,« He muttered crankily, before grabbing his blanket and stalking out of the cabin he shared with three pilots.

The whines quietened steadily – but Harry didn't worry about it's origin, because he knew who exactly was emitting those ghastly sounds.

He looked at the smug F-22. »Happy now?« He asked grumpily. The fighter jet let loose a small rumbling, purr, as if it were a giant cat.

Harry sighed.

»Yeah, yeah, I got it!« He snapped at the irritating scrap of metal. He snuggled into the blanket, before curling under one of the wings.

No matter where he curled up, he invariably woke up in the cockpit somehow, anyway.

Starscream waited until his pilot slipped into deep recharge, before transforming and carefully moving him into the cockpit. He really didn't want his fleshling – especially one with such strong thirst for the sky – freeze because of cold air or something.

The security would just have to suck it up and deal with it.

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_**8) Stalker**_

Harry stopped. There! It was there again! He suppressed a shiver and the urge to pull out his trusty wand. Instead, he reached for his trusty pistol – a strange mix of magic and muggle technology he managed to smuggle past the wizarding and muggle securities. Bless Hermione and Luna for their inventive minds, but Harry refused to give the one thing that saved his life more times he could count to some idiotic researchers of some idiotic Ministry of Magic. No way, no how.

But he had a sinking feeling…

A familiar whine sounded… _right there._

Under his window, actually.

Opening his window, he stared at the all too familiar silohuette of F-22 he supposedly left back at Alamo…. _Supposedly._

However, the Hellspawn was now there, sitting on his lawn, like some sort of innocent puppy.

Just, it was_ way_ bigger than average puppy, and Harry had to wonder just how did the thing found it's way here.

»You realize that what you are doing is called stalking?« He asked the Hellspawn on his lawn dryly, which purred softly in the answer.

»And I can't even appeal to anyone about that…« Harry muttered sourly. » Besides, who in their right mind would believe me that a giant F-22 was stalking me, anyway?«

The Hellspawn just purred again, and Harry's eyebrow twitched at the mirthful undertone in its' purr.

He sighed. »Have to call 'em, that you are missing,« He sighed again, massaging his temple.

Migraine, here we come.

In the base, the mechanics couldn't believe their eyes. »It… left?« A head mechanic croaked out disbelievingly.

»Y-yes. It left… look at the logs, it truly left…« The junior mechanic said excitely.

A tremendous whoop of joy shook the hangar.

»THANK GOD!/ALLAH!/JASHIN! _WE'RE SAVED!«_

This night, the last bottle of champagne was opened, despite the strict regs, and all crew, from mechanics, to pilots, to the command tower celebrated the disappearance of the mysterious Hellspawn, with tears of relief sliding copiously down their cheeks.

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_**9) Time**_

Time was a consistent thing. Time could run. Time could halt still. And for Harry his time was stolen by the three of the giant robots.

»Harry – « Barricade tried to reason with the mutinous wizard.

»I said _NO!«_ Harry exploded at last. »This is _ME_ time, meaning I want for some time alone, nookie time, time for me to get to know Mr. Hand –

Starscream blinked. »And _who,_ exactly, is _Mr. Hand?«_ He growled out dangerously, the growl was echoed by the two other mechs.

Harry groaned, fighting urge to facepalm.

Just how to explain those overly possesive… idiots, that he wanted some 'happy time' alone?

He didn't relish talking about human procreation, thank you very much.

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_**10) Myth**_

»But wizards are just a myth…« Megatron stated, his red optics looking at the human in his servos inquiringly. Harry glared. »Oh, _yeah._ And walking, talking, feeling behemoths of metal that are more advanced that anything humankind could come up with, are _just_ a myth, too.«

He snapped back irritated.

Sometimes, it sucked being a wizard.

And what sucked more, was that irritating logic of theirs.

For being so irrational sometimes, they were truly a bunch of disbelieving Thomases to boot.

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_**11) Warp**_

»What is a… warp speed?« Starscream asked inquiringly, red eyes curious -

Harry stiffened.

»Did you watched _Star Trek_ again?« Harry asked slowly, fearing the answer.

Starscream nodded. »Yeah.«

Harry sighed. »It's faster than the speed of light and –«

Starscream's eyes became huge. »Wow. And squishies –_ humans_ –» he corrected himself quickly at Harry's long-suffering glare, »Travel at warp speed?«

»No,« Harry deadpanned. »We became pancakes.«

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_**12)Music**_

Harry listened to the music, entranced.

Barricade smirked to himself smugly.

He may not be the handsomest mech – well, he was one of the spikiest around - but his music was his pride and joy.

And his spark was warmed up everytime he shared his gift with the small, green-eyed squishy named Harry.

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_**13) Official**_

It was official. One Harry Potter was off the market.

The race queens pouted. It wasn't fair! Harry – or Bolt, as they called him in the racing circles, was one of the cuter ones, and there wasn't a woman that didn't wish to have this stallion in her bed.

But this – this was _hot!_

They yowled like cats in heat, when a tall, built man grabbed slender green-eyed one into strong embrace, black hair tumbling sexily on his forehead, as the dark as night eyes behind the red visor looked at the blushing Harry hotly. The man was clothed in black leather pants, and jacket, leaving his chest naked to the lustful stares of the crowd.

»You've driven me well,« The man purred into Harry's face, his voice unlike the smooth purr of Harry's racing car.

»I think that deserves a reward… don't you?«

Harry nodded, flustered, before he was tugged into kiss that liquefied his knees in a jiffy.

He didn't notice the flashlights, he didn't notice the screams… his thoughts were only on Barricade's hot and heavy kiss and unvoiced promises.

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_**14) Checkmate**_

»Checkmate.« Megatron's voice purred out smugly, as the redhead gaped at the chessboard. »Wha – Bu-Wha-How?« Ron managed to bleat out, his eyes huge with surprise.

Megatron sighed. This was the twentieth time in this night, and it became boring. Harry had introduced him to the sixth Weasley boy in the hopes of Ron and Megatron finding a worthy challenge in their chess skills, but _noo_… the brat was _pathetic._

He had more challenge from _Optimus,_ and that was telling enough – especially because those Autoslags were winning mostly on the pure dumb luck.

This last win of theirs, was only because of that fleshling, _Ladiesman 217_ or something –

He threaded his right hand through the silver hair, irritated with the way his thoughts turned to.

Then, he felt a small, slender hand on his left shoulder. »Again?« Harry asked with a chuckle.

Megatron groaned. »Yeah.« He glared at the redhead, who squeaked and quailed under his stare.

Well, Megatron _was _intimidating – tall and with wide shoulders, he was taller than anyone, except Hagrid. He was imposing, even clothed in casual clothes – black trousers and blood red shirt that accentuated his burgundy colored eyes. His face was stern and chiseled, like the face of a war general. Thin lips and strong jaw only accentuated his strong presence and will.

Even Dumbledore was, for some reason, cowed by the presence of this stranger, and that was saying much for the aged wizard.

But when Megatron looked at Harry, his lips quirked into a small smirk, and dark eyes softening slightly with affection –

He was the epitome of a prime meat of any human or humanoid female out there.

Silvery blue eyes looked at the strange General hungrily.

_Yes,_ she swore to herself.

He would be _hers._

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_**15) Compute**_

It just didn't compute. _Magic?_

When Harry told them about that… strange energy, they thought the fleshling was kidding. But with Harry presenting the facts, and Animagus transformation and the… _Apparation,_ they were convinced.

Their fleshling was special, and this Magic… seemed to be an interesting field to know more about.

Only as long as their serwos wouldn't be burnt by something…

But the potential was there.

It still didn't wash away the fact, it still didn't get along wit the good old logic.

And yeah, their fleshling was _soo _much better than Autoslags' Witwacky!

In their faceplates.

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_**16) Date**_

Harry smiled.

This date was one of the best he had been on. In fact, any of dates he had gone on with his three… boyfriends? Were his favourites.

Well, not many human males could trump the trip into space with F-22, couldn't they?

He sighed, as he gently caressed the interior of his fighter jet, smiling as the seat shuddered slightly in the answer of his gentle touch.

»The stars are beautiful,« He murmured to Starscream gently.

»Yeah, I know,« Starscream replied, his voice quiet. »They are also a reason for our sky hunger…«

He paused. »But with you, I don't feel the sky hunger. With you, my spark is full.«

Harry blushed. »You are my wings too, you know.« He retorted, embarrassed.

Starscream paused. _'Does Harry knows just what his words mean?'_ He asked himself.

_'No, he couldn't… he isn't __a flier... well, not in convectional sense, anyway…' _

To tell a Seeker, that he or she was your wings, was the ultimate love confession. Seekers, above all, loved the sky and its' freedom… and without their wings, they were nothing.

So he swallowed the warmth in his spark, committing it to his deepest memory banks.

Silently, he turned around, and speed to back to the Earth, listening to the Harry's slow heartbeat.

_'You are my wings too, Harry Potter.'_ He thought to himself, red eyes brightening slightly with warmth.

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_**/To Be Continued/**_


	3. Chapter 3

_REACH FOR THE SKY _

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_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own _Transformers _or _Harry Potter_. No way, no how. But I do own this little story.

_**Summary: **_ What can I say? Watching _**Tron**_ has that kinda reaction on me, and well…_/shrugs/ _About time to write something about our lovable Decepticons and their prey – ahem, owner.

Edit: This is the second version - the first one was unbeta-ed, so this one was thrown into the ringer and made to fend for itself. So enjoy!

_**Warnings:**_ Hinted slash, strange situations, and our favourite mechs abound. Anyway, the pairings are: _**Harry/Megatron, Harry/Barricade, Harry/Starscream.**_

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_**1) Valentine**_

What was with the squishies and red hearts everywhere? Besides, the hearts were not even anatomically correct, but just some blend of two half-circled and an upside down triangle. How in the Pit could the fragging things even depict hearts?

Barricade scratched the back of his head, confused. However, that didn't help him solve his problem – finding the perfect gift for Harry.

And really, he refused to be so mundane as to gift him with a mere chocolate heart in some red colored tin foil!

_'Maybe a live one would do the job just as well…_' He mused, and went his way. Suffice to say, Harry was Not Amused – yes, with capital letters – when he found out that Barricade decided to steal all the transplant-ready hearts from the carrier unit.

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_**2 )Jealousy**_

Ginny swallowed as she looked at Harry. He should have watched her, and only her, but - she gulped again as the imposing trio joined her target. One was in his elder years, but except for the hair, nothing indicated he was past his prime yet. The other one was tall – not as tall as the first one, but tall nonetheless, with spiky black hair and sleek darkened glasses and a daredevil smirk, while the third had reddish brown hair and an elegant face with slender build in comparison with the silver and black – haired ones. All three of them were the centre of attention of the annual Charity Ball at the Ministry of Magic, but what rankled her the most, was that they effortlessly took Her Harry's attention from her.

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_**3) Overhaul**_

Fifteen minutes later, with Harry glaring at the terrified commentator who was still trying to attempt to joke about losing Harry's car. Harry wasn't happy by any stretch of the imagination. That car was something special – after all, it was his first car, and he had bought it with his hard earned money – not Galleons, but true blue British Pounds as it were.

"Um. Listen, man." The camera man tried to solve the situation. "We're really sorry, and if you want, we will reimburse you for the damage and that vanishing car wreck of yours." He was an older man, and he had seen many things in his life, but he really didn't want to finish his career with a dark splotch because of some incompetent brat's too long tongue.

Green eyes narrowed, Harry turned his head to the camera man, opening his mouth, but before he managed to speak up, there was the purr of a car engine.

The entire filming crew froze as the car drove back slowly, if not a little bit snootily. Black and white were flawlessly painted on, with a hint of a violet and ice blue sheen when the light hit the paint job at a particular angle – dark violet for black, and ice blue on white, the stripes were painted meticulously on the sides, the curves just a little bit sleeker and more streamlined than the usual models of Saleen Mustangs, giving it a bit of a feral look. The glass windows were tinted, and its optics were shaded in silver.

"Holy shit." One of the crew breathed out, his eyes bulging. "Guys, that's a sweet ride if I ever saw one."

The wheels glinted softly with the cold sheen of chrome, and the engine purred mischievously as Harry swallowed convulsively.

The interior was simple – black leather and that was it.

"Wow. You are beautiful." Harry addressed the car, tentatively touching its hood, and he could've sworn the thing shuddered under his palm and leaned into him slightly.

Barricade smugly watched the crew members flapping their jaws. It was so worth ditching the idiots to get the new alt form and paint job. Not to sound like Sideswipe(more like Tracks, Sides doesn't care) or Sunstreaker, but he did cut a handsome mech, if he said so.

And this squishy's smile – HIS squishy's smile – made it all worth it.

It had been the shortest overhauling in the history of the 'Pimp My Ride' emission –and ironically, the repair crew didn't do any work on it.

However, Barricade had to suffer watching his squishy being adored by various women who wanted a ride.

Oh the price of narcissism.

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_**4) Magic**_

Megatron was always interested in that magic thing – he was just curious that way. He wasn't on the level of some of the scientists, but even he was intrigued when he witnessed Harry breaking some fundamental physical and other laws, which should have been impossible in the first place.

He was most interested in the Animagus forms – it was somewhat similar to him changing alt forms, and it did help that Harry was a triple charger himself – his first form was a Russian cat with green and gold eyes, and small white scar on his head, and the other was a small Wyvern with metallic grey skin and dark green eyes and a black mane.

Likewise, Harry was fascinated with his tank and jet modes – even if he was baffled about just how Megatron managed to get through the swamps other tanks would havedrowned in.

* * *

_**5) Quidditch**_

Both Megatron and Starscream were interested in that Quid sport Harry had told them about. It wasn't every day that humans were playing on brooms of all things in the air, with different balls at that.

So Harry took them to one of the matches.

"Dowding missed the Quaffle by a mile. What the Pit is he even doing on the field?" Megatron growled, his cannons itching to get some target practice on the unfortunate squishy humans. Harry tried not to listen to him but… well, Megatron did have a point here.

"Not everyone can be natural fliers like you two." He growled back, absentmindedly watching the snitch which was behind the ear of Melissa Puckleberry, the Arrowheads' Keeper.

"What a half-afted piece of flying. Even a half off lined Auto scum could out fly them, with their servos tied back and optics off lined." Starscream grumbled, crossing his arms on his chest, before yelling. "_OI!_ What the Pit are you gawking at over there? The Snitch thingy is with the Harpies' Keeper!" His shrill scream was heard over the stadium easily, and the screams were abruptly silenced as the wizards looked to the Keeper in question.

Harry face palmed.

"Never, _ever,_ will I take you two to any Quidditch match again!" He growled out, mortified.

Suffice to say, he had gotten a lifelong ban against participating in any Quidditch matches, be that as spectator or player, and to top the proverbial shit pile, that meant any kind of a Quidditch match – from international to small ones.

Time to teach the two rusted afts what the concept of _discretion_ really meant.

* * *

_**6) Downsized**_

Harry paced in the anteroom nervously. Just how in the seven hells would his… guests manage to cramp into his tiny rooms? Neither of the bots was particularly small, and he couldn't use magic on them, and his home was at the max of the Expanding charms as it was.

The doorbell rang with a silvery voice.

"I'm coming!" Harry called out, hurrying to the doors.

When he opened them, he was stunned to see three men smirking at him. A tall, silver haired, red eyed man was clothed in a burgundy red pullover and black slacks with black shoes, while the second tallest had messy black hair and a red visor over his black eyes, while he was clothed in a black short sleeved shirt and faded grey jeans with worn-out sneakers. The last one was the smallest of the three, with a slender build and was clad in baggy army trousers with a red shirt and dog tags around his neck on a ball cord and brown leather jacket with brown gloves of the same material.

"I know I am gorgeous, but that's not excuse not to let us in." The last one spoke out with Starscream's voice.

Harry gaped.

"Flies, Potter, flies." The dark, haired one teased him, like Barricade, before he yelped at the silver – haired man head cuffed him. "Ow, Megatron, you slagging aft, will you leave my hair alone already?"

"Didn't know you were Starscream's long-lost twin." The silver-haired male sneered, wine red eyes narrowing in a disdain, while Starscream screeched with rage.

Harry sighed. The sleepover probably wasn't the best idea…

But oh well, what was done, was done.

He just prayed his house would still be intact when the night will be over.

* * *

_**7) Stunt**_

It was all Starscream's fault.

"I double-dog dare you to let Harry do his stunt, without you manning the controls." Starscream sneered out, his red optics glinting with disdain.

"Frag no." Megatron flatly refused, while Barricade smugly watched them. Somehow, they got into a game of Truth or Dare, and Starscream was still a little touchy that Megatron compared Barricade to him – even if he only implied it. No fragging pit that rust – bucket of a grounder resembled him in any way, shape or form!

"Triple-dog dare." Starscream announced, smirking. "Face it, Megs, you used all of your outs. You hafta to do the dare."

Megatron deflated.

The next day, he nervously – he wouldn't say so, but it was true – left the flight controls in Harry's … capable hands.

"Okay, ready?" Harry's voice didn't sound very reassuring, but Megatron was curious just what kind of stunt was so…out of the realm of sane that it made Starscream use it as a triple- dog dare.

He soon found out.

The nose of the jet was pointed to earth and Megatron felt the chill of foreboding crawl over his spinal sections.

And then, Harry pushed the joystick forward and they shot down, dropping like stones.

The cold air screamed around them, heating at the contact with metal, and with every second gone, Megatron was becoming more confused and uneasy.

The energon in his cables chilled when he found that Harry was pushing him to the edge of his abilities and they still weren't stopping.

His thrusters were working with full power, and the load was now exceeding 11 G forces – the maximum pressure human could stand without falling unconscious.

"Harry?" He asked hesitantly. "Are you alright?"

"Fine, ten more minutes." Was the short reply.

Megatron gulped as he reviewed the calculations.

No good.

The ground was nearing to them with a terrifying speed and all his instincts and programs screamed at Megatron to take over the ride.

"Harry!" he called to the youth in his cockpit urgently. "If you don't straighten us out we will – _**AAAHHHHH!"**_

Megatron screamed out like a little girl.

They had missed the cold, hard concrete by a hair, and that was with 24 G forces pressing down on them, and if Harry had swerved any later, they could have been a big silver and red pile of scrap metal, blood and meat.

Harry grinned.

"Wronski feint, success."

Later on, Megatron read Harry a sermon just how reckless that little 'Wronski feint' of his was, but that didn't stop him from allowing him to repeat it.

Starscream got his blackmail material… but in the process, he made Megatron into an adrenaline junkie.

He pouted. Damn it, now he would have to share his little guilty pleasure with the glitch aft….

No fair.

Barricade just praised Primus he had been sparked a Grounder. Fliers were too troublesome to begin with.

* * *

_**8) Gathering**_

"What the Pit are_ YOU_ doing here?" The question came out of three vocal processors, from three different mechs.

"I thought you were dead." Barricade bit out, red optics darkening threateningly.

"You thought wrong, glitch-head. Megatron snarled back to his third in command. "And I am under no obligation to give you any answers – "

The buzzing of the cannons cut the silence between them.

"Oh, _no?_" Starscream purred out, like a giant mecha cat, pointing his cannons at both of the two, making the duo glower mulishly at the smirking Seeker.

He would protect his squishy at all costs.

Shame the other two thought that they could take HIS squishy away from him, but oh well.

"Who the Hell are you and what the fuck are you doing here?

The well known voice demanded, prompting to look at the source, only to see one very annoyed Harry James Potter glaring at them sleepily, gun in one, and wand in the other hand.

Operation: '_Big Surprise' _– Epic Fail.

* * *

_**9) Lore**_

Barricade was very interested in the lore of Harry's world, especially in tales from the magical world. He still couldn't believe that an entire civilization of power –enhanced humans was thriving just under noses of the not-powered humans, and he was interested just why it was so.

He found out, through history books and internet, that squishies, despite of their fragility and short lives were a very cruel and resilient race, making his respect of them climb a little higher.

Harry had to literally drag him away from his reading time.

* * *

_**10) Crookshanks**_

For some reason, Crookshanks absolutely _adored _the trio of the bots. It even came to as far as to him hiding in their forms to get with them.

The first time that happened Hermione was near hysterics with worry, but then she almost got a heart attack when Officer Cade pulled the orange feline out of his car and passed it to her, with Crookshanks meowing plaintively at him.

She blinked, feeling oddly betrayed. That particular cop delighted in making her life harder, and her cat was practically_ in love _with him!

Life truly wasn't fair.

* * *

_**11) Streamlined**_

Harry fell in love with his Firebolt broom, but the slender curves of Megatron's fighter form were just…. Incredible. The sleek lines blended into one another, ending into some wickedly sharp tips, a symphony of metallic grey. It reminded Harry of the Hungarian Horntail – all sharp and fast and dangerous – incredibly so, but at the same time, awe-inspiring and …. Perfect.

If there ever was perfection in a form, it was Megatron's flight jet.

* * *

_**12) Transport**_

The first time Harry had Apparated, and the Decepticons witnessed it, was because Harry forgot he didn't live home alone, and so, he had almost scared the spark out of Barricade who was tuning his flute.

Suffice to say, the flute didn't survive, but with some quick use of _Reparo_, it was as good as new, but since then, Harry was besieged with questions about this strange kind of warping technique.

* * *

_**13) Technology**_

For all of their advancements, Earth was still terribly primitive in comparison with the planet of their newest…residents. So it was a terrible dichotomy that Muggles were technologically speaking miles before wizards, but in their own way, Wizards were better, faster and stronger – if only because they didn't rely on technology.

However, it did make their trips in magical world harder that way, because, come on, hulks of strange metal moving without charms or anything else, under their own power and intelligence?

Even Wizards weren't _that _dense.

* * *

_**14) Game**_

"One. Two. _Three!"_

Two fists and one with two fingers sticking out.

"Aw, slag." Starscream cursed, much to the amusement of Barricade and Megatron.

"Tough luck, ' Creamer." Barricade mock-cooed, smirking, delighting in Starscream's growl of frustration.

"Now it's just you and me." Red eyes clashed as the two of them prepared to –

"Three. Two. One."

This time, it was Barricade who made a sour face, while Megatron grinned, showing his pointy teeth.

"Up your tailpipe, aft-head." Megatron gloated, making Barricade snarl with helpless fury.

For some reason, Megatron was absolutely invincible at Rock, Paper, Scissors.

* * *

_**15) Divination**_

When Starscream first found out that stars could be used as a divination device, he blinked with confusion. Stars were only big flaming balls of gas or freezing balls of ice or other liquids or something… other. Why or how the stars could divine the man's way of life, he couldn't comprehend.

Not that it stopped him from checking his daily horoscopes at least twice a day.

* * *

_**16) Registration**_

Goblins were used to the many different… _eccentric_ requests of their clients, but this one took the cake.

"Mr. Potter, do you really want to register this… Muggle relic as your personal vehicle?" Griphook deadpanned, as he pointed at the spiky thing that likened to the Muggle tank – only it was of the wrong color, wrong shape and it oddly twitched when it was referred as 'Muggle relic'.

Harry hurriedly put one hand on the tank's flank. "Yes, I do. Is that a problem?"

Griphook snorted. "It is because this… whatever it is, is resistant to the attention diversion charms, even the strongest ones. The… plane and car were easy to do with, but your latest…pet seems to want to be recognizable in the eyes of Muggles and Wizards in any way, shape or form.

This was too much even for the quiet little 'pet relic'.

The gears _clanked,_ whirred and _clonged,_ and in front of the Goblin's disbelieving eyes, there stood a metal behemoth.

"I am not a '_Muggle relic',_ you excuse for a squishy, and if you think I will be hiding from them, you are sorely mistaken!" Megatron boomed out, his red optics glowing with fury as his pointed teeth were bared in a snarl more terrifying than any Griphook had ever seen.

Later in history, Griphook would be referred as a first Goblin that fainted in the presence of a Wizard.

Harry glared at his companion.

"Megatron… "He growled out, making the mech cringe slightly.

"Do you even know what the concept of _'being inconspicuous'_ actually _means_, or do I have to hit you with a dictionary?" Harry's words were quiet and spoken in a mild tone, but Megatron shuddered and quickly folded back into his tank form.

"I'll be good." He quickly promised.

'_So much about spreading terror among the masses,'_ He thought to himself sulkily.

However, he was appeased with statue that depicted him, erected by the Goblins in his honor.

Also, he had become honorary Goblin himself and the new generation of young little goblins would try to emulate and surpass his terrifying snarl.

* * *

/**_To Be Continued/_**


	4. Chapter 4

_REACH FOR THE SKY 4_

* * *

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Harry Potter or Transformers – their respective owners do. I just own this little story, as wacky as it is.

_**Shout Out:**_ Gents and Ladies, guys and gals, this is the next installment of our favourite Decepticons with their squishy. Hope you like it and no offense to Michael Jackson admirers. I love MJ's songs, but from Cybertronian perspective, he's just a squishy…_/clicks mouth shut/_ Oops. Already said too much. Okay, onward on reading!

_**Warnings:**_ Hinted slash, strange situations, and our favourite mechs abound. Anyway, the pairings are: _**Harry/Megatron, Harry/Barricade, Harry/Starscream. **_Some Ginny and Hermione baiting here too and some smaller surprises. Nothing _too_ harmful to your brain _/evil grin/_

* * *

_**1) Warmth**_

If he hadn't known better, Harry would have supposed that his three houseguests were cold and unfeeling, only metal circuits and hollow voices. Yet they were warm like the sunlight on a sunny day in a spring, the energy thrumming through them in a low, almost inaudible purr. Sighing, he curled up on the driver's seat in Barricade's alt form a little bit more, becoming drowsier by the moment with this feeling of security, warmth and quiet affection.

* * *

_**2) Expansion**_

He was lucky to be a wizard, Harry supposed. Housing a car wasn't a problem. Housing a jet – a bit harder, but doable. Housing three homicidal extraterrestrial life forms and sending them to their time out corners – priceless.

* * *

_**3) Dolannes**_

He listened to the flute silently, his entire being still, dark eyes wide and audios opened to the max. The melody was gentle and flowing, unlike and yet strangely similar to a Cybertronian lullaby. "What is that?" he asked, his voice hushed as the musician stopped playing. Harry smiled gently at the enchanted mech. "Dolannes."

* * *

_**4) Moonwalk**_

Starscream had a secret. The secret even he didn't know he had. However, when the music boomed around and he danced, he was happy. His happiness lasted until the song ended and they ambushed him. "Dude, where did you learn to moonwalk?" one of the dancers asked breathlessly. Starscream blinked owlishly. "Moonwalk? What moonwalk?" He asked, clueless. "You copied Jackson perfectly!" another dancer, this time a girl, gushed, jumping in place like some kind of crazed groupie. Starscream sniffed, insulted. "I'll have you know this is one of my original dance moves." He haughtily told his adoring public.

"Yeah _right._ You're total copycat." An emo kid flatly told him, lazily playing with his lip ring. And be that as it may, nobody could convince Starscream that his _sliding_ was invented by some plastic looking squishy with a high voice.

He had seniority rights, damn it!

* * *

_**5) Attempt**_

"Harry, could you come here for a minute?" Ginny called out, gaining the green-eyed man's attention for a moment.

"Not now, Gin. I'm in the middle of a debate." Harry absentmindedly told her while he was trying to think up a counter–argument to Starscream's little thesis on some flying acrobatic moves.

The redhead's eyebrow twitched. "Harry…" Her voice came out suspiciously near whining, Starscream noted, smirking to himself. "So… No arguments?" he teasingly asked the green-eyes squishy, earning himself a growl and the immediate and compete attention of his object of affection.

Ginevra Molly Weasley, eat your little heart out.

* * *

_**6) Alien**_

More often than not**,** the three of them felt completely alien in this squishy filled world. However, when in Harry's company, they felt completely normal.

* * *

_**7) Rain**_

Megatron's optics shuttered closed as he stood in the rain. The sound of droplets hitting his chassis, making tiny vibrations along the way – lighter and more ethereal feeling than the rain on Cybertron– relaxed him, his joints unlocking themselves from their usually tightly coiled positions as he stood and enjoyed the impromptu shower. The only thing better would be having his squishy along, but all in good time…

* * *

_**8) Languages**_

For one race, the squishies had a surprising number of languages. English was normal. Spanish, French, Japanese, Norwegian, Chinese…Megatron's processor was beginning to glitch from the sheer number of them, not counting the dialects and secret languages.

"You squishies are gluttons for punishment," he sighed at Harry, who only laughed in amusement. "Comes with the short life span of our species," he pointed out, smiling indulgently. However, Megatron was once again unpleasantly surprised by the fact that Harry wouldn't live as long as them.

* * *

_**9) Incident**_

The Autobots intended to have a relatively calm life on the Earth, peacefully co-existing with the squishies. However, one… incident… had thrown all of their carefully laid plans out the window.

"Um, sir?" One of the personnel nervously called to Optimus Prime. "Yes, Anderson?" Optimus answered kindly, in an attempt to calm the nervous squi – er, human.

"Um, I believe we found a Cybertronian. Someone aired on the web the snapshot of the acrobatics of the…um, 'bot."

Optimus stilled. All of the fliers, as far as he knew, were in the Decepticon faction so…

"Show it to us." Major Lennox was less polite, making the squint squeak and hurry.

Within a few seconds of typing and mumbling, there was a video shot of a sleek F-22 going through the acrobatics the human pilot couldn't muster up the courage to do.

And for a brief moment, Optimus saw a glint of a violet blur on his left wing.

"Where did you get the footage from?" Optimus' voice was steel and command, all rolled into one.

"Port Sunnydale, Sir!" The man told him, his voice on the verge of squeaking.

Lennox stared at the plane, transfixed. "Optimus, who the hell is that?"

Optimus' audios whirred and clicked, before he responded.

"Starscream, Megatron's Second-In-Command."

However, when they called Port Sunnydale, nobody had knowledge of where the Hellspawn vanished to.

/*/

"Ah –_Choo!"_

Said Hellspawn sneezed. He looked around, confused, and then shrugged, going back to trying to convince Hedwig to stop lording– or was it ladying? – over him with a third plate of bacon that night.

Never mind that both Megatron and Barricade had already bribed her with five plates of the said bacon.

Each.

* * *

_**10) Arithmancy**_

Hermione always thought of herself as one of the best and brightest when it came to Arithmancy.

But…

"You got it wrong."

The reddish – haired, violet eyed youth pointed out flippantly as he elegantly threw himself onto the couch. Hermione gritted her teeth.

The youth had been a pain in her neck for seemingly forever. First that Barry Cade officer, and now this Starscream brat! His parents named him right, she supposed – he frustrated her to the point she wanted to scream… to the stars. And not in pleasure, either.

"Oh? Well, if you are so very clever, then you solve the damned thing!" She spat out, throwing her notebook at him, which he caught with practiced ease.

That damned punk…

Fuming, she rose from her favorite seat and stalked into the kitchen to get away from the snooty teen that undermined her knowledge.

_Her, _Hermione Jean Granger!

Fifteen minutes later, she was calmer, filled with caffeine and ready to ream the punk a new one if he ruined her painstaking work.

Instead, when she came in the living room, she found him humming, twirling the pen and … Her eyes bugged out as she found Big Red Crosses all over her work.

"Wha– You - What the hell!" She sputtered, beyond mad, her blood pressure heightening to a dangerous level.

The punk only eyed her. "Your entire hypothesis was wrong." He calmly told her, and what followed had Hermione's head spinning.

Not only had Starscream explained to her as if she were a dunderheaded imbecile just why and how was her theory wrong, but he presented her with the solution to the problem, all accompanied with an integration of Arithmancy and some of the most advanced mathematic theses known to the world as if it were a bedtime story!

Starscream smirked victoriously at the stupefied female squishy. Seekers may have been a very… sensual race, but that didn't mean he wasn't well-versed in scientific matters.

"Excuse me, gotta faint." The woman calmly told him, before she keeled into unconsciousness.

Starscream caught her and placed her on the sofa.

He snickered. Who would have thought that needling her would be so much fun?

* * *

_**11) Haunted**_

There were days when Harry didn't sleep well, they noticed early.

One of those days, Barricade reminisced, was Halloween.

When he was still a scrap of metal, Harry took him out of the garage that time – it was night and the moon was shining with a pale light on the ground, and they drove around.

There was no reason or rhythm in the choice of their road – they were just driving – driving on the highway, through small, quaint towns and villages, everywhere and nowhere – sometimes Barricade felt as if he was not driving on the road but something more immaterial, and there was strange wisp here and there, silvery or black and skeletal, he saw them for a moment and they vanished, as if they were only a mirage of his overworked processors.

Finally, they stopped at the small cottage – half in ruins and looking as if it could collapse any given moment, and then Harry stepped outside, making Barricade shiver with unease.

Harry left him back there, and the squishy went to the house, entering it almost soundlessly, as if he were a ghost.

Two hours later, he returned, saying nothing, but Barricade was relieved that his human was back in one piece and seemingly unharmed.

Harry didn't say anything as he leaned against his hood, head tipped up to the bulbous moon hanging on the sky.

They returned when it was seven in the morning, with Harry snoozing lightly in the backseat and Barricade driving carefully so as to not wake up his precious cargo.

The haunted look in Harry's eyes vanished a week later, but, much to Barricade's dismay, it returned every Halloween.

* * *

_**12) Scars**_

They didn't have scars. Sure, they had been in more battles than they could count, but they didn't have scars. They could be repaired seamlessly, as if there was nothing more than a scratch.

So when they first saw their squishy, they were understandably appalled at the sight.

Thin, thick, white, ragged lines or patches - Harry's body was map that was a silent witness of his trials and tribulations.

And they swore, come Primus or Unicron, they would keep him from being hurt to the best of their abilities.

* * *

_**13) Transformation**_

"_Holy shit."_ Harry breathed out, as the…being he had inadvertently saved from the Hoover Dam's secret stash of big boy toys – totally not his moniker for the secret laboratory, but whatever - transformed in something…awesome.

Yes, right… And spiky.

"Well, squishy?" Megatron's voice echoed smugly in his ears, making him scowl and slap the side of the jet, making Megatron emit a strange yelping sound.

"Shut it, buster." Harry commanded, and surprisingly, Megatron obeyed…for once.

* * *

_**14) Mars**_

'_Hermione would've given her left arm and leg just to be __here__,'_ Harry thought, dazed.

The Earth was beautiful, but this – this was just incredible.

Red planes of ground and mountains on the horizon reminded Harry of Ayers' Rock and yet, it was so different and alien, he might as well be on Mars.

The irony was, he was exactly there to begin with.

Megatron smirked smugly.

"So…far enough to be a secret base?" he teasingly asked his squishy.

Harry nodded absentmindedly.

"Hell yeah."

* * *

_**15 ) Vindictive**_

If associated with any word, the Decepticons could be best described as vindictive.

"What was that, little squishy?" Barricade purred at the redheaded female squishy as he was leaning on his form.

"S –Stay away from Harry! He's mine!" The redheaded squish – excuse me, Ginny, growled out, her cheeks flushed with anger.

"Why should I?" Starscream muttered lazily as he tilted his head slightly, his unusually colored eyes mocking. "Just who do you think you are, to try to forbid us from seeing him?"

"I –I'm his girlfriend!" The squishy female blustered, her hormones a mix of embarrassment, rage and helplessness.

"You lie." Megatron's stern voice made the girl jump up with fright. "If you were his girlfriend as you say, Harry would have told us. We live together, after all."

Ginny made a strangled sound in her throat, then whirled and stomped back to the house.

Megatron quirked a silver eyebrow at his two smirking underlings.

"So…Ready for phase two?"

Starscream smirked maliciously.

"Yeah. "

Phase two – _'Embarrassing the competition'_ has begun.

Personally, it was the Seeker's favorite phase - well, except for mating, but this squishy proved to be a lot of fun to get rid of… and both Barricade and Starscream were plenty creative when it came to humiliating someone.

"Which should we do first? Rip her dress or... tell her dirty little secret number five?" Megatron muttered delicately as he ran a hand through his silver hair.

Barricade gulped.

"Avoid the glittering chick." he muttered almost inaudibly to his two compatriots, making their eyes widen imperceptibly.

And lo and behold, there came Fleur, smiling like a shark in a pond of three fat, yummy fish.

"_Bonjour_, 'andsomes," She purred out, flicking her hair back flirtatiously.

Starscream uttered a small Cybertronian curse, making both Megatron and Barricade blanch at the sheer crassness of the words used to describe her.

"Are you all right?" Fleur asked, concerned.

Barricade sighed.

"We are not used to such… events." He lied, putting up a fake smile. "By the way, congratulations on your wedding."

Fleur twitched.

Megatron eyed his third in command with respect. "Crass but effective," he muttered to Starscream in Cybertronian, making him smirk.

Well, nobody said that they had to play by the rules… did they?


	5. Chapter 5

_REACH FOR THE SKY 5_

* * *

_**Disclaimer:** _ I don't own Harry Potter or Transformers – their respective owners do. I just own this little story, as wacky as it is. I also don't own the excerpt of the song – it's _Wake me Up Before You Go-Go_, by Wham!. It's one of my favourites, and if you want to listen to it, go to the Youtube.

**_Shout Out:_ **Uh-huh. You guys and gals are definitely great inspiration to me, and so this plotdragon had jumped out of my brains to the computer to write itself out. The story is going on, and I am asking you to send the prompts for the next chapter. The only limit I have is they have to be one word and my plotdragons reserve the right on which ones to take up. As for right now, I will get to writing **_Among The Hawks And Doves_** and finishing up some of my other crossovers for the **_Scrapbook Jewels,_** so this story may not be updated as soon as it had been until now. All my appreciation to my faithful beta,**_ Moon Howling Banshee._** She is a record setter in checking over my works, so thank you, girl. You rock.

Thank you, the readers, for your encouragement and I hope you enjoy the next installment.

**_Warnings:_ AU-verse **and veering off of the canon course. The pairings are as usual** - _Harry/Megatron, Harry/Barricade, Harry/Starscream. _ **Still want to read it? Then enjoy!

* * *

**1) Sauna**

They shuffled uncomfortably as they looked around. Megatron once again checked if his towel was firmly wrapped around his hips, with no chance of sliding down. Barricade shuffled in place, the corner of his left eye twitching.

"Are you sure this is the correct dressing code?" Starscream prompted their green-eyes guide once again. Harry put his shoes into the locker and closed it before he grabbed the bag and straightened out, green eyes confused.

"Yes, I'm sure. I've been there many times already." He began to lead them to the sauna part of the complex.

"But…"Megatron swallowed. "No chassis?" The mighty Leader of the Decepticons felt an urge to twiddle his thumbs like an embarrassed teenage girl.

At first, it was all good and dandy, but then Barricade 'accidentally' looked into one of the sauna rooms and his eyes bugged out.

"They're naked!" he fairly squeaked out, hiding himself behind Harry as if that would help him any.

Harry sighed. "Yes, they're naked." He agreed, swallowing down a long-suffering sigh.

Out of morbid curiosity, both Starscream and Megatron dared to glance in the same room, and their CPU's almost crashed.

"But…they're _naked_." Barricade repeated, his dark eyes wide and for all of his age, he looked like a boy who was caught with his hand in a jar of sweets.

"Of course they're naked." Harry deadpanned. "Clothes serve the purpose of keeping our body temperature stable, but the sauna rooms' temperature is more than high enough for us to not need any clothes."

Starscream emitted a broken choke/gurgle as he saw one woman exit the sauna room and head to the showers, naked as a jaybird. Seekers were fairly sensuous and had pride in their bodies, but this woman was not young anymore and she still waddled around confidently, as if she were a supermodel!

"Oh, _Unicron_…" He whined helplessly. His optics burned! Burned, I tell you! "Tell me there is a law forbidding squishy…squishies' entrance to the Sauna. My circuits are already fried as it is."

Harry looked at the lady who was now adjusting the temperature of the shower and shrugged. "Sorry, Star. It's free for all, besides you did insist on coming with me on this one." He replied mildly, inwardly feeling sorry for the traumatized Seeker.

Meanwhile, Megatron was doing something he never thought he would've done in this cycle, or ever.

He was praying for Primus to absolve him of whatever sins he had committed in this life, because, surely, this was too cruel of a punishment for him to bear.

Harry jolted him out of his musings with a pat on his shoulder. "C'mon, let's get find us some recliners, and then we will go to the Sauna room."

Megatron whimpered.

* * *

**2) Enough**

It was enough. The red haired female squishy was a nuisance before, but right now, with her blatantly offering herself for mating to _THEIR _squishy –

They twitched. In unison, no less.

Starscream snarled out a sound that would – to any sane 'bot –be a signal to back off or suffer the consequences, Megatron ground his teeth and Barricade had to restrain himself to not to get out tonfas and well…bite the annoying herbivore to death.

Reading _Katekyo Hitman Reborn_ had that kind of an effect on him.

* * *

**3) Magic**

"You feel different." Megatron cocked his head, dark red optics narrowed and dimmed in thought.

Harry shrugged. "Yeah, well. Perks of being a wizard."

Inwardly, he wondered if the Statute covered sentient robots as humans and thus enacting the Statute of Secrecy.

At least the one he had here was thinking and being… a _being_. And with the axiom of _'I think, therefore I am…'_

Harry scratched his scalp, annoyed.

Descartes, you son of a bitch.

* * *

**4) Jitterbug**

"I - I have Jitterbugs!" Starscream barged into Harry's room, red eyes wide with panic.

Harry looked up at him from the pile of clothes in front of him.

"What the hell?" he managed to get out. Jitterbugs, of all things? Was Starscream actually serious?

Starscream nodded, before he flopped on the pile of clothes.

"Oi! You just sat on my clubbing clothes, you berk!" Harry growled at him, incensed. Starscream sniffled. "These?" He waved Harry's outrage away. "Never mind them. I have Jitterbugs!"

Harry blinked. "Did you talk to Luna again?" He asked flatly. It wasn't an unreasonable assumption, because somehow, both Starscream and Luna became good friends, with Starscream being fascinated with the strange creatures the Lovegood, now Scamander, Luna had told him about.

"No!" Starscream's eyed him, wounded. " I just have…."

"Jitterbugs, I know." Harry finished for him, sighing with exasperation. "Is your system glitching again?" he asked, just to be on safe side.

Starscream groaned, flopping on the top of Harry's would-be clothes for partying, making the wizard growl with irritation.

"_Wake me up, before you go-go,_

_Don't leave me hanging like a yo-yo_

_Wake me up, before you go-go_

_I don't wanna miss you hit that high…"_

Harry stilled as he heard the song, before the corners of his mouth twitched into an amused smile at Starscream's mortified face as his feet began to twitch in the rhythm with the catchy tune. "Oh._That_ kind of jitterbugs." He muttered.

Barricade smirked. He just knew that Starscream's obsession with that particular song would come in handy someday.

Embarrassment, however, was just a bonus.

* * *

**5) Hurricane**

"I'm home." Harry called out tiredly, before he entered the house.

And stopped. His usually immaculate house looked as though someone had let a hurricane through it.

He had just tidied it up two days ago, and now _this!_

Harry twitched.

"Starscream, Megatron! Get your hurricane-farting afts up here right _NOW_!"

The two guilty 'cons flinched at the enraged roar of their squishy.

"You think he's mad?" Starscream meekly asked Megatron, poking his pointer fingers together.

Megatron gulped, burgundy colored eyes wide. "I don't _think,_ I _know."_

In unison, they gulped before hesitantly getting out of their hidey hole to meet their doom.

* * *

**6) Blanket**

Harry loved his blankets because they were soft, warm and cuddly. Lately, however, his favorite blanket – one in mint green with little Snidgets printed on it – vanished to God knew where, and he was forced to substitute with at least one of the 'cons.

They weren't adverse to that, of course, he just had to schedule when and who would he cuddle with.

The blanket came back three months later, but by then, Harry was already used to his substitutes and thus, the blanket was rarely used, except when he was watching TV.

When he wasn't, Barricade kept in on his driver's seat. Megatron got the violet and silver one, and Starscream was saddled with the yellow and red one, much to his disgruntlement.

However, the only other choice was the pink one, and nobody wanted to be saddled with _that._

* * *

**7) Cleaning**

Starscream actually purred with bliss as his little squishy cleaned him – firm, but gentle strokes swept over his chassis smoothly, and the lather was rich, running down his form in white rivulets of bubbles, tickling a little. His vents hitched a little when the squishy crawled onto his chest, and his Spark warmed with the proximity of this fragile being that had somehow managed to become his entire universe.

Harry was as wet as a drowned rat, his black hair glinting darkly with the excessive water, and really, the entire affair was just so unreal. He could've used the _Scourgify_ charm to clean the Seeker, but somehow, it felt wrong to do so. Besides, it was a rare chance to get Starscream into his biped mode – not that it was anything wrong with either of his forms – be his alt mode or his holoform one, but this was Starscream as himself. He should've been scared, what with him being a metal behemoth that could easily crush him with no more effort Harry himself could crush a bug, yet he only purred under him with contentment, the only sound on the otherwise abandoned front yard.

"You alright, Star?" he asked the Seeker, who twitched a little, optics brightening momentarily.

"Of course." Starscream rumbled out lazily.

And so the afternoon was slipping away in the haze of the summer sun, water, purring and silent companionship.

This…was happiness.

* * *

**8) Hunt **

She licked her lips, like a cat lusting for some very fat, juicy mice. Only, in her case, she didn't hunt after mice, oh no, but after three hunky, gorgeous and did she mention hunky? – males.

Megatron. The man was older, and had silver hair with those unique crimson eyes, but wow, was he built… And with him being in uniform –she suspected he belonged to one of the foreign armies, although nobody knew which one – he exuded an air of command and self-assurance that made her hot and wishing she could get him to 'punish' her with his whip.

Barricade. While Megatron was silver and light, Barricade was black and dark –black, messy hair, lightly tanned skin from being under the sun and some two inches smaller than his commanding officer and his body, as far as she could conclude, was flawless. Those uniforms were Merlin's gift to women, she just knew it – and from the lustful glances of the other women, they thought the same.

Starscream was slender – not bulked up as the two men, but he still exuded a presence – playful and polite, but still somewhat razor-edge, making Fleur's blood heat when she imagined just what this… razor edged difference could be that marked him as so very different from his compatriots. His wild hair was dark auburn and his eyes had an exotic tilt while his face was slender and his chin a little pointed. He reminded her of a vulture – a dangerous, exotic vulture that was at home in the air, just like her foremothers were. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought him a male Veela, but there were no such things, even if he did pull the eyes of all eligible and ineligible females of a breeding age to himself.

She looked at Bill. Truly, Bill was one of the rare males that were able to block the Veela allure, and he was good bloke and all, but he just couldn't compare to the three hunks who were talking about something in a strange language.

If only she had waited a little longer to tie the knot with Bill… she sighed.

Well, no one said she couldn't afford some dessert at the side, did they?

She licked her lips again as she headed to the small group, ready for the next confrontation and totally disregarding the drooling mess of the males she was leaving in her wake.

The three 'cons felt a shiver of foreboding skitter up their spines.

They looked at each other.

"Drool Bitch alert?" Starscream asked dryly.

Megatron nodded, sighing. "You got it. What wouldn't I give to foist her onto Prime…" he grumbled.

Barricade choked down a laugh.

Drool Bitch hunting down Optimus Prime…

"Who says we can't do it?" he asked mildly, making both Megatron and Starscream perk up in interest.

* * *

**9) Accidental**

Their meeting, aswith many other things, was quite accidental.

"_YOU!"_

"_YOU!"_

Both men – er, young men looked at each other.

"Your car speaks?" They asked each other in unison, brown and green eyes lit with confusion and suspicion.

And then the yellow Camaro -

Brown eyes widened, and the teen shouted – "Bee, _NO!"_

-Transformed into the 'bot.

Harry face palmed, groaning.

It would have been better if the trouble trailing behind him was just a puppy. Instead, he was stuck with trouble in the shape of an alien robot–

He heard the well-known buzzing of Megatron's motors in the air, and he groaned.

Correction_, two_ alien robots.

Absentmindedly, he cuffed the hyperventilating Sam on the head.

"Pipe down, will ya?"

He asked the teen with a long-suffering voice, making Sam gape at him.

No, his life would never be normal. In fact, his life somehow decided to be as _ab_normal as possible.

"Suck it up, grin and don't think about it." He advised his… fellow protégé mildly, before turning back to the Barricade-Bumblebee scene and whistling an ear-piercing tone.

* * *

**10) Specimens**

Hermione stared at the trio like they were live specimens of bacteria in a petri dish. Something was… wrong with them. Very wrong.

They were living with Harry, as far as she knew – she had the dubious honor of happening upon a half – naked Megatron puttering away in the kitchen for breakfast when she Flooed because she had forgotten her reports the last night she had been here.

And oh, my… was that a sight.

Hermione blushed at the memory. No wonder Fleur was chasing after him with such determination, even if she was already married.

The man was perfect. A tall, perfect body - his face a little aged, his crimson eyes cruel and his lips thinned cruelly, but his face was regal and intelligent-looking. And he was intelligent too, even if he did have a temper when it came to his two subordinates. But he knew so much… Hermione swallowed. It was like he was a live encyclopedia - once, she had asked him some of her most difficult questions, yet he answered them with surprising ease.

That brat, Starscream, was the same. A genius in his own right when it came to Arithmancy or Mathematics in particular, and Barry Cade, the berk, was a musician in his own right.

Yet nobody knew about them. Geniuses weren't able of staying undercover or normal for any length of time – their abilities shone through sooner rather than later.

But nobody knew about them.

"Alright, 'fess up." She demanded. "Just what are you guys and what are you doing here?"

The three mechs looked at each other.

Well…busted.

* * *

**11) Awkward **

"What is the function of a screw driver?" Barricade replied, incredulous. "Are you kidding me?"

Mr. Weasley scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, no?" He asked, blue eyes honestly curious. "Muggles have them, and–"

Barricade wanted to groan. A screw driver, really? "It is a tool to turn the screws." He explained shortly.

Mr. Weasley nodded. "Oh! The Muggles are simply amazing!" he gushed.

Barricade pinched his nose.

_'Where is Ratchet when you need him?'_

_/*/  
_

"Ah-_Choo_!" Ratchet sneezed, startling the twins and making the pranking tools clatter on the floor.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker gulped as the old mech turned in their direction.

"Oh, slag." Sideswipe whimpered.

Sunstreaker yelped as he was hit on the head with the wrench.

"'_Oh slag'_ is right." Ratchet agreed calmly, before grabbing both of them and manhandling them into the healing bay for long overdue medical check.

* * *

**12) Diet**

Harry eyes his beloved owl with disbelief. Usually slender, Hedwig now resembled a flying turkey with an owl's head more than an actual owl.

Hedwig shuffled uncomfortably under the green gaze of her master, before hooting imperiously.

"That's it." Harry decided, still staring at her. "From now on, you are on a diet. No more bacon for you, do you hear me?"

Hedwig clicked angrily, but after a small stare down, she hooted a defeat.

Harry turned to his three 'cons. "And you guys! Don't let her bully you into giving her even a scrap of bacon from now on." He ordered, making Megatron sigh with relief, while Barricade slumped into couch and Starscream gulped.

"But what should we do with all the bacon we bought then?" Starscream asked, making Harry's eyes widen.

"Just how much bacon did you guys buy, anyway?"

There was a honk outside, and Starscream flinched at the sound.

Woodenly, Harry turned around and looked through the window, his eyes bugging out with sheer disbelief at the scene.

"A whole truck?" Barricade asked meekly.

* * *

**13) Scam**

"And just who do you take me for?" Megatron silkily asked the cowering wizard in front of him. The Goblins behind him grinned with delight.

It was a thing of beauty to see Megatron terrify the would-be scammer into overwhelming fear.

Silver eyebrows scrunched and dark red eyes narrowed. "You will return all the investments you gained from your … _business _with the House of Potter, with sixty percent added on."

The man whimpered. "But Sir! I don't have that much money, I have to take care of my kids–" He tried to plead, his chin wobbling with distress.

Megatron slowly stood up. And then –

_SLAM!_

The table held for a moment, and then cracked in half.

The scammer paled.

"You don't have kids. You have a quite fat account for your so-called 'rainy days', Mister Milson. Well, the 'rainy days' are here, so fork it over." He said silkily. "Unless you want to return with an eighty percent return of investment rate?"

The businessman shook his head, trembling.

Needless to say, the Goblins_ loved_ Megatron.

* * *

**14) Mate**

"Oi, mate, long time no see." Ron cheerfully greeted his famous friend, oblivious to the murderous stares of thee cons that had already planned how to torture, kill and bury him.

Harry was _theirs,_ damn it!

And no slagging redhead would take him from them!

Ron shuddered as he got a bad premonition of his future.

He usually didn't believe a shred of Trelawney's teachings, but in this case….

Violence was in the air.

* * *

**15) Circus**

Before he allowed them to accompany him, Harry got them to agree to a whole new slew of rules.

No killing the squishies.

No threatening anyone with torture or death.

No pointing out obvious things.

No lording over everyone just how inferior they are in comparison to the Decepticons.

No taking pets home.

No getting food for free.

No selling off Pigwidgeon. Even if it would keep them from killing the little feathery annoyance of an owl.

No complaining about the music.

Stick close to Harry at any times.

No sweets. Absolutely none. Zip. Zero. Null.

After they came out of the circus, Harry didn't know whether to laugh, cry or just plain murder them.

They refrained from killing the squishies, but Barricade somehow managed to threaten the clowns into soiling themselves. Even if he did so to get out of their jokes, but still!

_No pointing obvious things._ Starscream just had to nitpick the acrobats and their techniques, didn't he? It didn't help that he was somehow mistaken for a famous critic, either.

The lording over part went equally badly. But in Megatron's defense, he did try to keep it at a minimum. He was merely mistaken for a snobbish noble that way, instead of the Lord of the Decepticons. So, an improvement there.

_No taking pets home._ Cue Starscream's puppy eyes at the two albino tiger cubs. "Can I keep them?"

_No getting food for free_. It seemed that they were just too gorgeous not to dote on so they were constantly offered food –popcorn, coke, sandwiches – some old lady even got as far as to squeeze a lollipop of all things in Starscream's hand.

_No selling off Pigwidgeon._ At first Harry didn't want to believe they didn't do it, but apparently Pig became enamored with one of the condors housed there and well…

_No complaining about the music._ Barricade hunted down the flutist and practically tore the poor guy apart verbally, making him bawl and rock around, curled in a small ball of misery.

_Stick close to Harry at __all times_ apparently translated into 'accompany Harry to the toilet every time he has to go'. Harry could have dealt with this, but being accompanied by two 'cons every single time he had to take a leak was a bit too much for in his humble opinion.

And who knew Barricade could get a sugar high of epic proportions from just one stick of cotton candy? Megatron, on the other side, could consume three… and become tipsy.

At least this time they weren't banned from ever returning.

Thank God and Primus for small mercies.

* * *

**16) Jealous**

Ronald Bilius Weasley was jealous. And for once, he wasn't jealous of his 'mate', one Harry James Potter – oh no, the cause of his jealousy was one Megatron…what was his surname already? Didn't matter.

The thing was, Megatron had thoroughly trounced him in chess – he didn't know how, because as Megatron had confessed, he had never, ever before in his life played chess – which had to be impossible, because nobody could be so good in chess without having at least some practice against some opponents, but it seemed that this red-eyed man was an exception.

Ron had made his name in the Wizarding and Muggle worlds as a chessmaster, and to meet, out of the blue, one single man that literally snatched the ground under his feet away –

Ron gritted his teeth. Why was it that when he was good at something that this bastard had to show up and shatter his hard-earned work into dust?

His brain was still going over the strategies this… man employed against his tactics and even if he wasn't willing to admit, the man was brilliance incarnated.

Ron himself had used some of his moves against some of his ordinary opponents, and they were a smashing success – however, it irked Ron something terrible.

If Megatron was to walk in any chess tournament, he would have stolen Ron's thunder before Ron had known it.

What irked Ron even more was the man's apparent nonchalance over the entire episode. He had the feeling Megatron was toying with him somehow – sometimes he lasted ten moves and sometimes Megatron gutted him at the very beginning.

Nothing made sense. Ron grabbed his hair and tugged at it, disregarding the pain in his scalp.

_Argh!_ The man was just plain _infuriating!_

Not that it stopped Ron from playing with him, anyway.

* * *

**17) Spooked**

"We found them." Sam's voice echoed through the speaker, trembling with shock.

"Found who?" Ironhide asked before Optimus had the chance to ask the same question, making the Prime glare at him with exasperation.

"Uh… Barricade and–" The boy swallowed nervously. "Megatron."

_CRASH!_

There were definitely some processors frying right now.

"W – What? Megatron? Are you sure, boy?" Ratchet spluttered out, his optics wide with shock.

"Y-Yes." Sam's voice became gradually steadier.

"Are you in danger, boy?" Optimus finally asked, half-ready to call a roll out.

"Depends on what you term as all right," Sam's voice was flat right now.

"Does a dinner with Megatron, Starscream and Barricade, along with their… owner count as me being alright?"

This time, the CPU's of listeners definitely crashed.

Lennox exchanged a look with Mikaela.

"Either Sam's as high as a kite or Megatron has finally lost all his marbles." He commented, with Mikaela nodding mutely, her eyes wide.

"I heard that, squishy!" Megatron's voice barked through the speaker, causing them to jump up with fright.

"Jesus Christ! Give a man a heart attack, would ya!" Lennox spat out before he could catch his brain.

"Would love to, squishy, however I have guests to terrorize –excuse me, to entertain." Megatron's voice sneered out disdainfully. "And for your information, Lennox, I still have all my marbles, so to speak."

The speaker crackled out.

_CRACKLE, BUZZ_

"Ow, my head." Ratchet moaned out as he finally got back online. "I had a strange dream – something about Sam having dinner with Megatron and his two officers."

"It wasn't a dream." Lennox told him slowly.

"Aw, slag."

Everyone almost had heart or spark attack at that moment.

Did Optimus Prime just curse?

* * *

**18) Tattoo**

Groaning, Harry woke up in the middle of a pile of bodies. Usually, this would concern him, but right now, he had a headache of epic proportions, his eyes felt as if they were going to fall out of his skull at any given time, his tongue was something ready to be dead and buried and his butt ached something fierce.

Oh, and did we forgot to say he was naked?

He twitched experimentally.

Good. He still had all his parts. Whether they were in a working order, it remained to be seen.

He managed to straighten up when a searing pain in his right buttock made him yowl like a wounded cat and flatten back to the bed.

"Mmh? Harry?" Megatron's voice was groggy and his usually clear eyes were dimmed and bloodshot. At least his voice was deep enough to spare Harry any unwanted mental spikes of pain.

Green eyes glared. "What. Did. You. _Do?"_ Harry hissed out, carefully rolling around to the side.

A wave of agony made him whimper as someone – namely Barricade –thought to bite him in the ass.

Literally.

"Barricade! Wake up, you slagging ass-muncher!" Harry's voice was sharp, but it was Megatron's head slap that finally got the mech in question in the land of wakefulness.

"_Ow!_ Whu?" Barricade protested blearily, before attempting to go back to Harry's ass – excuse me, sleeping.

"Didn't know you had a taste for my ass now," Harry hissed nastily, before gingerly touching the bitten area. Barricade, even in his holo form, had wickedly sharp teeth.

"Shuddup." Starscream grumbled, his perpetually messy hair now even messier.

But both Megatron and Barricade were transfixed too much by Harry's ass to answer him.

Harry became nervous. "Hey, guys? What did we… um, do?"

Starscream blinked. "Huh… we played Truth or Dare."

"So why does my ass hurt, then?" Harry's question made Starscream blush and smirk at the same time.

"I dared you to get a tattoo on your ass. Happy now?"

Silence.

Then, Harry slowly turned his head to the smug Barricade.

"And who told you to bite my ass, huh?"

/*/

Five days later, Harry glared at the now healed tattoo. It was the Decepticon symbol, done in violet and it covered almost his entire right buttock.

The sign was here to stay, much to the three 'con's smug amusement and Harry's mortification. The next health check would be very interesting, indeed – especially because the entire thing was done in magical ink.

Harry scowled.

Magic sucked.

* * *

**_To be Continued_**


	6. Chapter 6

_REACH FOR THE SKY 6_

* * *

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own **_Harry Potter_** nor do I own **_Transformers._** What I own is this lil' story, however crazy is is _/happy smirk/_

**_Shout Out: _**I thank the people who sent me the prompts (You guys and gals seriously rock,) and apologize for being horribly late. Also, the main culprit in kick-starting this series again was my ever helpful beta, **_MHB_**, this chapter is dedicated to her as her birthday gift. Happy birthday, **_MHB _**and I wish you many happy years! And crikey, guys...and gals_.../is dazed/_ I Did It. As from this day on, I am a Logistics Engineer. This lil' title was the main culprit for not being seen nor hide nor hair of me on this site for so long, but I finished the college! _/wide grin/._ Hopefully now I will have some more time to write - anyway, **_Crimson Sagittarius_** will be the next one to be updated, as for the others, I still have to write them through.

**_Warnings:_** Meggie - ahem, Megatron torture via various means and devices. You don't need old-fashioned medieval torture chamber for getting Lord Megatron in trouble._ /wide smirk/ _Read on and see for yourself. Enjoy!

* * *

**_1) Blackmail_**

Hermione smirked smugly at the three uncomfortable men in front of them. Oh yeah, revenge was sweet, indeed. She felt a little guilty for involving both Starscream and Megatron in her tiff with Barry Cade - actually, the only innocent**-** ahem, relatively innocent - one was Megatron, but she ruthlessly pushed the guilt in the back of his head.

"So...the question now is just what can you do for me in order for me to keep your secret." She drawled, smirking like one particularly ferrety Malfoy.

The three mechs looked at each other.

Was it or was it not worth it to keep her thinking that they were super-secret agents?

* * *

**_2) Headache_**

Megatron winced as a spike of pain lanced through his skull. It was an annoying sensation, like someone was flaying his circuits with an electrical whip… directly. Grimacing, he massaged his temple as if to assuage the pain, when the sensation bolted through his nerves again.

"Megatron?" Harry asked him, green eyes looking at the mech with concern. "Are you alright? They were sitting in a booth in Florean Fortescue's, waiting for Hermione to finish her insane book-shopping spree after she had surprisingly managed to drag along both Starscream and Barricade, much to their horrified dismay. This woman was a beast in human disguise when it concerned any kind of knowledge, and it really didn't help that they had to refer to her as Mistress, garnering many weird looks in process. Megatron managed to evade the shopping expedition via the fact he had to… ahem, accompany Harry to Gringotts to deal with some business. (A bald-faced lie - Megatron just shamelessly used his rank to order both of the sulking ex-'Cons to go with one sadistically happy Miss Granger while he shamelessly hogged one oblivious Mr Potter.)

"I have a processor ache." Megatron managed to get out, wincing again as he clenched his eyelids shut, as he shoved in his mouth another mouthful of that divine goodness.

Harry eyed him exasperatedly.

"Of course you do. How many times have I told you not to gobble your ice cream so quickly?" The wizard sighed a long-suffering sigh. "It won't melt, you know." He pointed out wearily.

Megatron glared at him. "Ice always melts." He continued to gobble the frozen goodness down. "And it's hundred thirty and seventh time.

Harry blinked. "Hundred thirty and seventh?" he asked, confused. Megatron nodded and promptly winced at the movement. "You told me, quote, _not to gobble my ice cream_, unquote, I believe.

The green eyed wizard sighed. "Figures you would remember that and _still_ gobble it down like it's going out of style."

Either his explanation of ever-freezing charms sucked _that _much or Megatron was just plain masochist.

Meanwhile, Megatron resolved to master these processor aches even if it killed him. Nothing, and he meant _nothing_**_,_** defeated Lord of Deceptions, much less a measly processor freeze acquired via … enthusiastic gobbling down of ice cream.

'Sides, the ice cream was delicious.

* * *

**_3) Orchid_**

"Here." Harry blinked as Barricade thrust a small flower with uniquely colored petals at him. Well, it wasn't every day Harry saw true blue orchid with hints of violet a the edges.

"Um, wow." He stammered as he accepted the plant, confused. "But why?"

Barricade shrugged nonchalantly "Saw it and it reminded me of you."

He didn't mention that it cost him some wheedling and much of his personal pride, lost to one Miss Granger just to find out which flower was Harry's favorite.

All the pain and trauma he had acquired in the process of gathering the required information was forgotten as soon he saw the small smile on his squishy's face.

Meanwhile, one Neville Longbottom was confused because in the greenhouse where he grew the Sky Orchids, there were some big tracks, as if a Yeti of some kind would trudge through the place. While he was counting the number of specimens, his feeling of confusion turned into feeling of being frantic as one of the precious, irreplaceable plants had just vanished. It didn't help that Luna just laughed and said the missing plant was in safe servos.

Just what the heck were _'servos',_ anyway?

* * *

**_4) Ice_**

While Megatron loved ice cream, he absolutely hated and _loathed_ ice. Who wouldn't, after being frozen for almost half a millennia, and not being able to move for the same length of time**?** So he was understandably apprehensive when it came to ice-skating.

And he was right.

For all his… grace in the air and on the ground, he absolutely sucked at ice-skating, much to Barricade and Starscream's glee.

Fragging aft-heads, the both of them.

Megatron sulked.

* * *

**_5) Tape_**

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

Or, in this case, duct tape was just priceless.

"So, ready to send the parcel off?" Starscream asked, grinning. His two compatriots smirked.

"Hell, yeah." Megatron rumbled, satisfaction evident in his voice.

It took some persuasion, a good-sized crate, one besotted 'gift' and at least two million of those small, plastic, sticky things called 'tape', but the 'gift' in question was ready.

One Optimus Prime wouldn't know what hit him.

The human practice of exchanging peace offerings was underrated, seriously.

* * *

**_6) Domestic_**

The scene was…surprisingly domestic, Harry supposed. He never would have thought that his life after war would have involved three metallic behemoths playing Scrabble in his living room in their holo-forms, but he couldn't muster the discontent to protest the picture, even if they blatantly cheated, what with using the Cybertronian language.

Shame he couldn't cheat with Parseltongue, though, but there simply wasn't enough required 's' and 'h' tiles in the game pack.

* * *

**_7) Overload_**

The guy nights surely were fantastic, Harry thought drunkenly, especially - He arched into the warm touch, groaning wantonly as he was divested of his other pieces of clothes.

"Wait - not in the rules -" He meant to say that, but what come out of his throat was a low , needy whine as the warm - so very warm -hands glided over his skin, into his hair, and someone's face nuzzled in his throat, making him shudder at the wet swipe of someone's tongue, and someone's hands slid lower and under and he jerked as they touched him - touched and grasped and moved - Harry nearly lost his breath at the sensation, so much better than his own hand, so strong so sensitive so pleasurable –

He arched, jerked, tried to catch his breath and at the same time hold it in as the warmth in his lower belly began pooling in, swirling into one loose ball of pleasure which then contracted and relaxed and with each movement, it contracted tighter, hotter, more, making him mewl in desperation as he half-listened to those purrs and clicks and humming and then, it contracted to the point of being painful, so painful he couldn't hold it in anymore, this white-hot, intense ball of sensation and he choked out half-yell and half whine as the ball imploded - inside and outside in a great rush of lightfeeling_release _it made him twitch helplessly, his body under the command of pleasure so intense he almost blacked out, barely registering the wet feeling on his stomach.

Yeah, Harry concluded, guy nights were the best. He fell asleep with a smile on his face, surrounded with content clicks, purrs and whirrs.

* * *

**_8) Fabric_**

Starscream scowled. This was just… icky. He didn't have any other word for it, but it was! He understood that to blend in he had to wear clothes - it was a given - but that redheaded little tart - ahem, one Ginny Weasley managed to dirty his shirt with ice cream, and even after apologizing for it, he was sure he caught a small smirk behind her remorseful façade. She fretted and apologized, but the damage was already done.

The problem in question was, that his… garment was… different, and he really didn't want to touch those icky things he was presented with. No it was not a matter of principle - Well, yes, it was, but the fabric was just horrid. It itched against his skin, and Starscream was sure that this… itch was not natural, besides that horrid orange color. It was as if someone was running an iron brush over his wings - _shudder _- or using fingernails on a chalkboard. _Double ick._ But for the sake of propriety, he had to wear at least something - Mrs Weasley was a formidable woman when it came to enforcing the rules in her house – and Starscream grimaced, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the thought of him being in that icky, itchy, and just plain horrid excuse for a fabric.

What? It wasn't his fault his skin was sensitive, thank you very much!

A hesitant knock on the door made for a small reprieve from his depressing thoughts about getting a rash via that… excuse for a piece of clothing.

"Starscream?" Harry's voice came through. "May I come in?"

The Seeker sighed. "Yeah." He called back, as he glared at the offending fabric, willing it to burn. Sadly, the cloth mockingly stayed the same.

"Heard you got into a mishap with ice cream." Harry's voice made him grunt in acknowledgement. "So I made a quick-trip – Whoa!"

Harry yelped as he found himself in a fervent embrace of one ecstatic Seeker.

"Thank Primus." Starscream breathed in Harry's hair as he snuggled deeper into him, closing his eyes in contentment.

Hesitantly, the squishy's organic arms embraced him back. "It's okay, Star." Harry murmured back and Starscream shivered as the warm breath hit his naked skin.

Five minutes later, the two emerged - Starscream smugly wearing a dark gray and red sleeveless shirt, with Harry being flushed, irritated and his hair more messy than usual.

Starscream's thank-you snuggle for getting him Harry's favorite silk shirt was just overkill in Harry's humble opinion. (Not that he didn't enjoy it… secretly. What was with the 'Cons being a snuggly and cuddly lot with him?)

And why was Ginny glaring at the smirking Seeker, anyway?

* * *

**_9) Rescue_**

Usually, the Deceptions were the ones termed as villains, and rarely were they the ones to rescue anything.

However, it seemed that Crookshanks decided to play gentlecat in distress, as he somehow made a way up the tree, and having no clue in the world just how to come down.

Harry had received Hermione's frantic call on a hot July afternoon, and that killed all the plans one wizard and the 'Con trio had for the day. Apparently Crookshanks dodged the summoning charms, and instead of going to the lower branches, he only went up and up, and Hermione wasn't the one for climbing trees and would they just come and help her poor darling?

"So…who will get the furball?" Megatron asked bored, as he looked at the tree, while Harry was on the side, trying to calm down hysterically crying bushy-haired witch who was bawling about her 'baby'.

"Not me. I'm a grounder." Barricade immediately de-volunteered.

"And because you're a grounder, you're perfect for this task." Starscream sniped back.

Barricade glared at him. "What the fuck does being a grounder has to do with ability of climbing trees?"

"As much as it does with being a Seeker." Starscream snapped back. "But you're still the best choice to climb up and get the cat down by default."

"_Default,_ your malfunctioning rusty aft. You know what? Let's play Rock, Paper, Scissors. Whoever wins, has to get the furball." Barricade growled, making Starscream smirk at Megatron's absentminded nod.

/*/

"Why do I have to save the furball?" Megatrons' elegant complaint - read: whine - made the two Decepticons smirk smugly. "You won the Rock-Paper Scissors." Starscream replied candidly. Barricade smirked.

"Suck it up, Megsy, and get your aft up in the tree."

* * *

**_10) Specific_**

"You said to get my aft up in the tree, not to save the damn furball." Came Megatron's cranky voice from the tree.

The two 'Cons on the ground looked at their leader incredulously. "Seriously? Couldn't you tell us before that you can't tree-climb?" Starscream asked their esteemed leader exasperatedly.

Well, you really learn something new every day. Who would have known that almighty Megatron, the Lord of Deceptions, and the ex-High Protector of the Cybertron was absolute pants at tree climbing?

"Oh, for Unicron's sake, just grab the furball, throw it down and - "

Barricade's rant was interrupted by a furious howl of kitty's momma that made the trio cringe with pain in their audio processors.

"YOU WILL NOT THROW MY DARLING CROOKSHANKS ANYWHERE!"

Well, now they were at impasse.

* * *

**_11) Awe_**

In the end, the one who saved the day was - who else - one Harry James Potter. The messy-haired green-eyed still bespectacled young man looked at the tree, the furball clinging to the branch almost at the top of the tree and Megatron clinging to the trunk somewhere middle, sighed with exasperation, gently guided furious Hermione to wary Starscream's embrace, called up Barricade to give him a leg up, and then commenced Operation**:** Save The Tree Idiots.

He climbed easily, finding appropriate footholds effortlessly and soon reached and climbed above Megatron, until he reached the shaking orange ball of fur called Crookshanks.

Five minutes later, the feline was in his owner's tearful embrace, and Harry quietly instructed Megatron how to climb down the tree, which Megatron did with trepidation, but to his - and both land-bound Deceptions - he had done successfully.

"Oh Harry, you were wonderful!" Hermione gushed, her eyes big with adoration. "Thank you, I wouldn't know what to do without my Crooky." She nuzzled the still shaken cat gently, which also meowed a plaintive mew in thanks.

"Anytime, 'Mione." Harry replied gently. "Now, if you don't mind, we have plans, so…"

Hermione waved them away, still too engrossed in babying her precious kitty.

/*/

When they were in a safe distance away from kitty momma, Barricade finally managed to comment. "That was a piece of impressive climbing. Especially with rescuing Megatron." He needled their erstwhile leader who only growled in response, his cheeks flushing lightly with mortification.

Harry beamed a happy smile. "Really? Because that was my first time climbing a tree." He went ahead, leaving behind the three dumbstruck Decepticons staring after him.

"And that's why I hate heroes." Megatron groused out.

* * *

**_12) Stitches_**

Starscream's newest obsession was…sewing. There was just something calming in stitching, pulling the needle into the fabric and then out, and watching how the creation of beautiful stitching under his fingers.

Both Barricade and Megatron cringed at the look of his creation. While Starscream had much enthusiasm, his creations were even worse than ones a kindergartener made.

The worst thing was, he intended to gift one of his… little…. projects to Harry, and knowing Harry, he would proudly wear the little creation of horror until it would fray to nothingness.

They swore, if – _when - _it would come to that, they would somehow confiscate the damn thing and burn it with all the prejudice needed to get the onerous task done.

Then, they only had to convince Starscream to find some more … appropriate hobby.

* * *

_**13) Burn**_

**_"NOOOO!"_** The ghoulish scream belonged to the one and only Starscream upon the finding that his precious stitching cloth was up in flames, with both Megatron and Barricade grinning at him sadistically.

Starscream sulked for the rest of the week, until Harry had enough and ordered the culprits to do something about it.

The next morning when Starscream came into the kitchen, he was confronted with two very contrite 'Cons, with a big box in the background.

And what do you know, his new gift was a sewing machine with many fashion magazines and sewing tips.

Happy Starscream equaled to a busy Starscream, and while Harry got complimented on his superbly made clothes, both Megatron and Barricade had to suffer through the horror of being models for female clothes, which were published in magazine for cross-dressers.

/*/

On the other side of the pond - ahem, ocean, Simmons looked at the picture of the pair of women lovingly. They were clad in classic Victorian getup, with some modern twists. The first one had smooth silver hair, and the second had a wild black mane, both red-eyed and clothed in carmine red and deep violet silk that showed off their legs and beautiful shoulders. "So strong. So … _manly._ So lovely." The agent shuddered in ecstasy as he looked at his intended loves. "Don't worry, darlings, papa will find you soon."

Somewhere in the England both Megatron and Barricade shuddered simultaneously.

"For some reason I'm feeling incredibly violated." Megatron muttered to Barricade while he was changing back in his clothes.

Barricade nodded. "Seconded."

* * *

**_14) Glee_**

Megatron would be the first to admit that he enjoyed making beings squirm –beings, because his list didn't count only those Autoslags, but also his underlings and of course squishies, both of magical and non – magical variety.

But this… dinner… with Autoslags' Witwacky was one such chance that warmed the cold cockles and valves of his non-existent heart. It was funny sight, watching the Witwacky jump and stammer and flinch in his presence, even if it earned him some of Harry's reproachful stares and under-the table kicks to the shin.

He smirked with glee as Harry offered Sam lodging for the night.

Subtle, sublime art of terrorizing the Autoslag's squishy, here he comes.

* * *

**_15) Horror _**

Sam's eyes bulged out with horror as the two mechs were joined by the third. The third one was the infamous Starscream, the one who had caused to Autobots many glitches with his ability to fly. Besides Megatron, Soundwave and Skywarp, Starscream was the most dangerous of the Decepticons just because he could fly, and as such cover more mileage than an average grounder, no matter how technologically advanced they were. Just on principle, Autobots would have lost if the two factions ever began serious hostilities against each other. Luckily, something happened that averted Megatron's attention from the Cube to something else - and Sam had a sneaking suspicion that something else wasn't the right word - but rather, _someone _else was.

* * *

**_16) Glitch_**

Sam Witwicky was one very glitched human. That was a fact the Autobots had accepted, because who else would have accepted them so readily and not go blab their entire existence to newspapers and other media? Mikaela Barnes, his batch mate was glitched a little, too - had to be to stick up with him.

However, the Grand Glitch Prize undoubtedly belonged to one Harry James Potter, who was the owner - how in the Pit did that happen anyway? - of the three most dangerous Deceptions alive .

Lennox just admitted that he would have loved to have the bastard in his squad, because finding someone with _cojones_ of diamonds to not only survive the terrible three but also _own_ them was not someone he would have wished to meet as an opponent.

* * *

**_17) Panic_**

The Autobot Headquarters were currently in state of panic. The reason?

One Sam Witwicky having lunch with Megatron of all mechs and not only that, Starscream and Baricade. And no matter how much Sam reassured them that he was safe, that his… host, one Harry James Potter was a civil, polite bloke who was more than capable to rein his three…ahem, 'bots in check, theAutobots couldn't help but hyperventilate a little.

Ratchet was not amused with the heightened number of 'bots suddenly needing his services… but on the other servo, he had gotten to check some of the stubborn glitch-heads who evaded their health checks more than long enough.

Meanwhile, Optimus Prime and his small command team were contemplating how to forward the news, that one Samuel Witwicky was kind of kidnapped by kind of an opposing faction to his formidable, with iron baseball bat armed mother.

Jane Marie Witwicky's _'disciplinary overhauls'_ were not something any sane – or even insane - Autobot would wish upon their 'bot compatriots, but they would love to let her loose on Megatron's troublemaking aft all the same.

* * *

**_18) Wrath_**

Jane Marie Witwicky was in full wrath mode. She had been looking forward to a nice evening, and a good homemade dinner with her husband and son, and there Sammy goes, getting himself kidnapped by those evil 'bots! She just knew that Autobots weren't good news, but for the sake of her son's happiness and – very minutely - Earth's safety, she let those elaborate tin buckets of rust take care of her darling son.

Oh no. Not anymore. She huffed as she clenched the bat in her hand, totally disregarding her husband who was trying to sneak away.

Whoever that Mega-scrap was, he better be prepared for some heavy handed discipline, via her trusty baseball bat. Nobody kidnapped her baby boy and got away with it!

Besides, interrogating that Ratchet fellow made for a very… interesting… conversation.

* * *

**_19) Error_**

Megatron's first error this particular evening was that he thought he could get away with terrorizing one _Ladiesman217_ without feeling consequences. However, that proved to be a nearly fatal mistake, because when he was in middle of a particularly juicy baiting, his viewing channel winked offline and he had a terrible processor ache.

_"Mum!"_ Megatron's… victim stared at the Amazon who held the well-known bat in her slender, delicate hands tightly, horrified. "I know he deserved it, but that was uncalled for!" Nobody dared to move in fear of attracting the wrath of the ferocious female – and her iron baseball bat - behind Megatron's chair.

Megatron's head was drowned in a soup dish, submerging some of his face, while the rest of the liquid was being splashed all over the desk, drenching Megatron's pullover and a part of his lap.

"This will be enough of your back talking, young man." Sam's mum snapped back. "I've left you to your shenanigans long enough. I didn't raise you to cavort with hooligans, metal ones or otherwise! Come here, we are going ho – "

"Auntie Mary?" The dreamy voice from the doorway stopped the lioness in the human guise cold, making her smile at one Luna Lovegood as if she was a harmless housewife (Yeah, right)

"Lulu, dear, how lovely of you to come help me. Let's get Sammy away from those good-for nothing ruffians."

* * *

**_20) Apology_**

Megatron glared blearily at the ceiling, not wanting to even look at the female squishy who dared to almost crash his cognitive processors into an unrecognizable mulch. "I am sorry, mister Megatron. I hadn't realized you didn't have any evil intentions toward my Sammy." Her eyes were big and glassy, shiny with that saline liquid the squishies called… what was it already?.. tears or something. Or was it snot? He was undecided…

_'I have the urge to practically quarter her damned hellspawn, if it weren't for that Pit-damned bat thing of hers.'_ Megatron growled to himself in his head, making the two 'Cons choke in process.

"Of course not, Mrs. Witwicky. "He replied politely. "You just got the insane urge to clobber my poor head for some unfathomable reason. Witwicky, has anyone ever told you that your parental unit needs anger management classes?"

* * *

**_21) Notes_**

_Harry, buy milk. - Barricade_

_I've bought three cartons last time. There should be two in the storeroom still. - Harry_

_Starscream drank it all, the glitch-head. - Barricade_

_Did not. You used it for your Cheerios. - Starscream_

_Barricade, go buy Cheerios. – Megatron_

_Do it yourself, Megs. - Barricade_

_Harry, I am in need of new Cheerios. - Megatron_

_And I need my Schweppes. - Starscream_

_Go buy it yourself, I am busy. - Harry_

_That was mean, Harry - Starscream_

_Mean? Mean was when you chugged down my last dose of coffee. THAT's the meaning of being mean. – Harry_

_But you are neglecting us. _L _– Starscream_

_And you are being mean. – Harry_

_Yeah, what he said. – Barricade_

_What, now it's a 'Gang on Starscream Day? - Starsream_

_Bingo, 'Creamer. How did you guess? - Megatron_

_My superior logic circuits, of course. I want my Schweppes. _**_Now_**_. - Starscream_

_I swear, you love that stuff more than a high-grade Energon. - Barricade_

_Servos off my Schweppes, 'Cade. I mean it. - Star_

_In your dream cycle, 'Creamer. By the way, you still owe me three cartons of milk, you leech. - 'Cade_

_I_**_ so_** _do not. There wasn't your name on 'em, anyway - Star_

_Neither was yours on my Cheerios - Megatron_

_Winners keepers, losers weepers, Meggie. You're simply not being mean enough. - Barricade_

_DON'T call me that M name if you wish to see the next sunrise. – Megg – (crossed out violently) – Lord Megatron_

Harry sighed as the notes on the screen of his phone devolved into bickering.

"Why do I feel like a retainer of a long-married threesome again?" He muttered to himself as he resolved himself to yet another trip to the market.

* * *

**_22) Card_**

Hey, look, he's on a card!" Starscream exclaimed, his violet eyes wide with excitement as he rushed into the living room, interrupting the chess match between Megatron and Barricade rather violently.

"Huh? He is?" Barricade blinked, confused.

"Yeah, look." Starscream shoved the card at them.

And there he was, in all of his messy – haired, green-eyed glory.

Harry James Potter, one wizard extraordinaire.

* * *

**_23) Catch_**

Harry Potter, despite claiming contrary, was quite a catch in the Wizarding and Muggle society. Similarly, his three companions were also, if not more so of a catch, because of their exotic appearance and being almost unnaturally perfect.

Shame that they managed to somehow vanish every time the model hunters got on tail of one or another, the only proof of their existence was rather successful clothing line and the photos of two models in some cross-dressing magazines.

* * *

**_24) Polish_**

Barricade wasn't a vain mech - at least not to the extent Starscream was - but he had to admit that Harry polishing him was a very pleasant and sexy sight.

The cruiser shuddered as Harry dragged the cloth he had dabbed in some kind of a polish over his chassis on his hood. The feeling was… sublime, as if he had been massaged by the best masseuse in the world. he purred louder, making Harry chuckle at the sound. "Like it?" the wizard asked, only to squeak when strong arms curled around his waist, pressing his back against the hard body.

"Love it." Barricade purred back, nuzzling Harry's neck briefly before gifting the skin there with a faint bite.

* * *

**_25) Irony_**

"Take _that,_ and _that _and _that_… _huff, huff_…. And **_this_**!"

Megatron's vindictive voice growled out, barely heard among the whining of the buzzsaw and some other sounds –

_Crack-crash – creaaaak_

"Wonder what he's doing now…" Starscream mused. "It sounds like he is torturing something in here."

Barricade snorted. "He ordered me not to allow anyone in – "

_Crash-_**_BANG!_**

Both of the 'Cons jumped in the air at the loud sound.

"You sure it was safe to leave him to… whatever he is doing right now?" Starscream asked, his voice uncertain.

"You want to be on the business end of his sword, just go in there." Barricade replied dryly.

Starscream cringed. "I'll pass, thank you very much."

Meanwhile, Megatron eyed his… victim… rather evilly.

Well, this should do… for now.

The victim in question was sawed at, wrung and from the once beautiful specimen, it was reduced into a rather… gnarly one, as if it aged at least four thousand years under Megatron's 'tender' mercies.

Take _that,_ you excuse for an aft-head. Nobody mocks Megatron.

/*/

"Oh, my. What an excellent specimen - just look at its trunk! And how is pruned! Whoever did this, they were a superb master –" The Japanese man raved, his eyes suspiciously shiny with admiration.

Starscream and Barricade looked at each other.

"You don't think…"

"That this was Meggy's yesterday's victim?" Barricade finished, sighing as he nodded.

Apparently the Japanese man had supernatural hearing, as somehow, they found himself staring in the old man's excited face. "You! You two! You know who created this beauty?"

Barricade eyes the .. _beauty_ warily. "Errr. Yes?"

Promptly, the man grabbed him by his pullover. "Where is she? Who is she? She is so very talented – "The man sighed, as if lovestruck.

"Um, he is not – "Barricade tried to fend the man off.

"Quiet, young man. Just tell me who she is. She has a superb gift that should be cultivated further."

Starscream eyed the poor tree doubtfully. _Cultivated?_ Yeah, right. But then, he smirked evilly.

"Meggie is a shy one, Mr.?" He inquired.

The man nodded. "Yoshitaka Horio." He released confused Barricade while he nodded at Starscream.

"Tell her to contact me at her earliest convenience…. It's not every day you find a true genius in shaping bonsai trees." Yoshitaka told the youth, offering him a card, before continuing to admire the tree.

/*/

Three days later, one very confused Harry Potter handed Megatron a thick letter. "I don't know why, but there's a letter for you."

Megatron's red eyes blinked. "Well, I didn't give out your box address to anyone."

Starscream and Barricade looked at each other. The russet-haired Seeker shrugged as the black haired man's red eyes glared at him. Barricade just knew they were in trouble now.

"So open it." Starscream offered, nonchalantly sitting on the settee and crossing his legs, as he examined the fingernails on his left hand. Red eyes looked at him suspiciously.

"You know something?" Megatron asked, his silver eyebrows arching at Starscream's minute cringe.

"Of course not." Barricade replied haughtily.

"It's not a prank either. Nobody knows about this post box." Harry murmured as he looked at the simple letter in Megatron's hand. "Just open it already."

With a sharp not, Megatron tore the letter open, blinking with confusion when a big laminated card fell out. "What's that?"

He picked up the card, red eyes widening with confusion as he read the contents.

_Recipient: Miss Meggie_

_AWARD FOR THE 1__ST__ PLACE IN BONSAI MAKING_

_250.000 £ (two hundred and fifty thousand British pounds)_

Harry's eyes widened. "Wow. I didn't know you knew how to make bonsai, Megatron.

The tea in Barricade's mouth was promptly spat out. _"Seriously?!"_ He squeaked out while Starscream pounded his back.

Meanwhile, Megatron quickly read the accompanying letter. Red eyes widened momentarily, and then promptly narrowed in anger.

"_Meggie_, huh?" His voice was dangerously silky. "Why do I have a feeling that I know the culprits?"

"You don't." Starscream blurted out. "I am sure it was just a coincidence."

"Although I am surprised that your tree massacre was considered art, and even managed to get a first place of all things." Barricade mused thoughtfully, not noticing Starscream horrified stare when Megatron picked an enclosed photo.

"Just a coincidence, huh?" Megatron's voice was as mild as milk, but right now, the two culprit's blood was frozen with terror. "So it's just a coincidence I was mistaken for a female and addressed with that despicable name?"

"Um, yeah?" Starscream squeaked out, and then both of the 'Cons dived out of the window, just in time to be missed by two rather heavy ornamental vases.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU BASTARDS!"

Megatron jumped after them, leaving Harry alone to look at the photo.

"Well, it is a rather fetching tree…" The green eyed wizard mused thoughtfully as he smiled at the photo. "Maybe Megatron finally got over his complex of being unable to climb trees…"

* * *

**_26) Divine_**

It was cold. And miserable. And those squishies would pay _dearly_ once he would get out if this frozen aquatic Pit.

Nobody said that being sniped and quartered was pleasant experience.

Just… a little bit more.

He wanted to flinch as another group of squishies was gathered in front of his faceplates, the main squishy telling the other ones something about NBE-1 – Megatron imagined taking this squishy into his servos, and then slowly crush his extremities - bit by bit –

- and then his senses were assaulted with a divine feeling of something that loosened his coils and made his spark just a little bit warmer and his processors a bit less sluggish…

All too soon, he was left alone, that divine presence retreating, leaving him with only a mirage of warmth coiling in his valves.

_What in the Pit was that?_

* * *

**_To Be Continued_**


End file.
